Things I like (that you should too).

I’ve an idea… I just thought you guys should know about a scourge on the hipster community in my town, i.e. the “Brojan horse”.

This conniving member of the male race walks into the average hipster watering hole, or any area where they converge. He looks, talks, and acts completely like a hipster, and he uses this to gain the trust and affection of female hipsters. But when he suggests they go home, alarm bells begin to ring when they walk past the lowered utility vehicle in his driveway. Even more so when they notice all of the collegiate football trophies that adorn his wall, as opposed to faded polaroids of that one time he met the guy from memory tapes. As the hipster girl stares around in horror, shocked and awed at what she sees in front of her, she notices that the guy she was planning on seeing 4 times before ghosting and rocking up at his house drunkenly a month later, doesn’t have the standard emaciated figure of the men she is used to seeing. In fact, she notices (with much horror) the bulge of biceps and veiny forearms. In the same fashion that Odysseus and his men were able to penetrate the pretentious and elitist defences of the Trojans, so too is the Brojan Horse able to make his way into the ranks of hipsterdom “To score hipster sluts.”

(Photo)